The humanity of 48,000 Georgians are at the whim of the majority. 8,500 trans youth between the ages of 13 to 17 have had their access to life-saving, gender affirming care cut off. And the chilling fear as always is when do they stop? What is their endgame. Except, in recent CPAC speeches - their endgame is quite apparent.

Sometimes I think what has happened to my life - in the best possible way. But there’s always that one thought that has to be kept at bay, a dangerous thought to entertain - what if I had just been born in the right body. The body that matched my own personal reflection. Dangerous, because once one travels down the road of what-ifs and shoulds and could-have-beens, then one sets oneself up for unhappiness. Accepting, sometimes radically, where one is at in life is the most potent antidote for traveling down those roads. Accepting what is, instead of what could have been.

But the extended family that is America, that I grew up and experienced on that base in the middle of the Mojave Desert, where we chased and trapped lizards and kept them in giant plastic water tubs for the allotted two or three days before we had to release them - I feel like in 2016 I found out how that extended family felt about people like me. People who were different.

Yesterday was … magical.

Yesterday, at 3 PM, at Red Light Cafe, I took the stage with 7 other brilliant women. So incredibly talented. From such a diverse array of backgrounds.

Yesterday was magical because we got up and were the 2nd of a Nationwide monologue reading, which began Friday night in Washington DC at the Arena theater. My Body, No Choice.

I stay busy, not intentionally to not process my own feelings but that is an unfortunate side effect of “doing.” And I do the initial processing. The triage. After bandaged, and sufficiently stabilized, I send them to the emotions specialists (I know I’m not the only one who imagines the mind as this department of departments.) It’s just often there’s a backlog.

Years ago now (feels weird to say this) but years ago in therapy, right before I began the process for The Duchess short film, I remember commenting to my therapist that I could afford either The Duchess or bottom surgery. He asked why and … basically I only had enough credit for one. And then he asked why I couldn't do both at the same time and - look. Trans people don’t make a lot of money. Black indie filmmakers don’t make a lot of money. Black trans queer people don’t make a lot of money. Black trans queer filmmakers don’t make a lot of money.

You ever feel like the universe is talking to you, trying to tell you something but you have no idea what that message could possibly be? Here are the facts - Sept 2019 we filmed the duchess. Sept 2020, we held a virtual staged reading for the waltz, unlike anything I’d ever seen or been a part of. Sept 2021 I became a sundance fellow. And Sept 2022, I was signed to Alexander White Agency, no audition, talent recognizant.